brokeback et al

i suspect the reason why i haven't seen a good heterosexual romantic movie for a while is because the formula for such conflict has become trite, stale and possibly overdone. hence its reduction to the pop romantic comedy genre.

it used to be that race, class, religion or simply the age-old difference between man and woman were sufficient to create the necessary angst, tenderness, bittersweetness, elevation and sacrifice for a powerful tale. now it seems we need gender identity to generate an equivalent or greater compelling force of emotion. it's a matter of dosage apparently.

self-pity

self-pity and self-defined alienation is admittedly one of the easiest and most-resorted-to forms of definition of identity. the statement "you don't understand me", or the even more effective "nobody understands me" serves as self-justification for one's actions, an exit strategy in a losing argument, a holier-than-thou option in a powerplay, and ultimately a way of saying how different, special or unique one is compared to everyone else around. its irrefutability makes it always subjectively true for the speaker and its very act of saying the establishment of an alienating mindset and a position of identity. how convenient.

lupercalia

i understand people were trying to make their erstwhile celebrations special, meaningful and unique. a swanky restaurant outing and the full complement of roses and chocolates sufficed for many. wealthier others tried events on roof gardens, glass lifts, underwater, in a plane, etc etc. snootier others eschewed the commercialism and created their own picnic, home-cooked, diy experiences. contrarian others celebrated the day before, or are planning to tonight. the rebellious remainder declared that they didn't care for such a festival.

everyone (apparently) reacted and responded. and so we perpetuate.

settling for

settling for, though, is always perceived as a negative. it implies not being able to get what one truly wants, and worse, that one has had to forego a choice, or even, give up a hope or dream.

and yet, this is what people constantly have to do, and console or justify to themselves that that's what reality is, not being to get what one truly wants (not the same as trying to get everything that one wants - which is simply greed).

and (at risk of facetious over-simplification) is the root cause of all pessimists, cynics, fatalists and their ilk.